I’m afraid I’ll never finish college. I’m afraid I’ll finish college with student loans I can never pay back. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree and won’t be able to find a job in that field. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree, get the job I dreamed of, and hate it.

—A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one.
(via thishaskilledme)

(Source: insensiblenothingness, via soychorizo)

I wish you had never left.

I wish I had never left.


I wish I had never left.


Rudy Fransciso- Scars/ To the new boyfriend

I think I’ve seen you somewhere in her smile, I think I’ve heard you in her laughter, I bet if we dusted her heart for fingerprints, we would only find yours.”

Snow Patrol

—New York

I miss it all from the love to the lightning
And the lack of it snaps me in two
Just give me a sign, there’s an end and not beginning
To the quiet chaos driving me mad
The lone neon nights and the walls of the ocean
And the fire that is starting to go out

(Source: eskimeggo)

So you have chosen aloneness. You have chosen the security and the relative freedom of solitude, because there is no risk involved. You can stay up every night and watch your TV shows and eat ice cream out of the box and scroll through your Tumblr and never let your brain sit still, not even for a moment. You can fill your days up with books and coffees and trips to the store where you forget what you wanted the second you walk in the automatic sliding door. You can do so many little, pointless things throughout the day that all you can think of is how badly you want to sleep, how heavy your whole body is, how much your feet hurt. You can wear yourself out again and again on the pavement, and you do, and it feels good.
No one will ever bridge that gap and point to your stomach or your hair or your eyes in the mirror and magically make you see the wonderful things about getting to be next to you. And maybe that’s it, after all, this fear that no one will ever truly feel about you the way you want to be felt about. Maybe what you want is someone to make you love yourself, to put sense into all that positive rhetoric, to make it so the aloneness of TV and blasting music in your ears at all times isn’t the most happy place you can think of. Maybe you want someone who makes you so sure of how wonderful things are that you cannot help but to tell them your feelings first, even at the risk of being humiliated. Because you will know that, when you’re telling them you love them, what you’re really saying is “I love who I become when I am with you.

—Chelsea Fagan, For When You Think That No One Will Love You  (via larmoyante)

(via seeking-wonder)